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	<title>Heartless Jezebel</title>
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	<description>Because some people don't deserve to be spared...</description>
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		<title>Heartless Jezebel</title>
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		<title>Self-Portrait via Flickr</title>
		<link>http://heartlessjezebel.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/self-portrait-via-flickr/</link>
		<comments>http://heartlessjezebel.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/self-portrait-via-flickr/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:18:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>heartlessjezebel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Observations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[freakish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[introduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[introspective]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meme]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mosaic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[outlandish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[photos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weird]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wtf]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://heartlessjezebel.wordpress.com/?p=16</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ginny over at Praying to Darwin has this up on her blog (and I&#8217;ve seen it on a couple other ones), and I thought it might be a nice opportunity to sort of introduce myself to the blogging world. I guess how it works is you get 12 questions, input each answer into flickr, choose [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=heartlessjezebel.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4318370&amp;post=16&amp;subd=heartlessjezebel&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="entry" style="text-align:center;">
<div class="snap_preview">
<p>Ginny over at Praying to Darwin has this up on her blog (and I&#8217;ve seen it on a couple other ones), and I thought it might be a nice opportunity to sort of introduce myself to the blogging world.</p>
<p>I guess how it works is you get 12 questions, input each answer into <a href="http://flickr.com/">flickr</a>, choose a picture that pops up on the first page you feel represents your answer best (or entertains me most), and then make all twelve images into a pretty little mosaic that will make me feel abstract, and &#8220;artsy.&#8221;</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s the list of questions, for the curious (also, I can&#8217;t imagine knowing what the questions were based on the totally random assortment of photos beneath them):</p>
<ol>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">What is your first name?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">What is your favorite food?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">What high school did you attend?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">What is your favorite color?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Who is your celebrity crush?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">What is your favorite drink?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Where would you go on your dream vacation?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">What is your favorite desert?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">What do you want to be when you grow up?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">What do you love most in life?</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Choose one word to describe you.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Your blog’s name?  (I left this one as-is from Ginny&#8217;s blog, as I don&#8217;t have a Flickr account.)</p>
</li>
</ol>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Without further ado, here&#8217;s the mosaic!</p>
<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 415px"><a href="http://heartlessjezebel.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/mosaic1.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-19" src="http://heartlessjezebel.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/mosaic1.jpg?w=450" alt="&quot;WTF&quot; doesn't even begin to describe this."   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">&quot;WTF&quot; doesn&#39;t even begin to describe this.</p></div>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">And here&#8217;s some explanation, along with my answers:</p>
<ol>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Jezebel &#8211; Apparently, there is a Jezebel butterfly. I demand it make fun of all the other butterflies and make them cry if they act stupid.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Bacon &#8211; I can&#8217;t really pick a &#8220;favorite&#8221; food, but I do love me some bacon. As for the mosaic photo, which seems to be a chocolate-dipped slice of pork on top of some French Vanilla ice cream&#8230;I don&#8217;t really know what to say about that, except that it looks positively disgusting (which means I have to try it one of these days).</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Redlands East Valley &#8211; Apparently there aren&#8217;t images of my high school alma mater on Flickr. This fact makes me realize how boring this area truly is. Although we do get a ton of fires when it&#8217;s hot out, which explains this photo.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Purple &#8211; What can I say? Purple is the shit. And if I could make that spider 100x bigger and slap a saddle on it, you can bet your sweet ass I&#8217;d ride that thing around town.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Brangelina &#8211; The Golden Couple. Probably the most genetically sickening pairing of two people I&#8217;ve ever encountered, but I&#8217;d still hit it. Yes, both of them. Maybe even at the same time.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Silly Little Bitch &#8211; This is a self-made drink I came up with, and upon searching for an image representing it, I&#8217;ve found that there are some really bizarre signs in the world. That little porker looks awfully high&#8230;they must give their pigs massive amounts of the bong water and then let them choose to get into a blazing hot cauldron.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Akihabara, Japan &#8211; Land of milk and honey, electronics, robots, and everything awesome. Who doesn&#8217;t want to visit that place? I feel like they&#8217;d install batteries into my cerebellum so I could keep going for days on end if I ever traveled there. And bless the Japanese for that. They are a wonderful culture filled with creepy tentacle porn animation, walking vending machines, and gadgets galore.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Death Valley / Milk and Cookies &#8211; I&#8217;m a stickler for spelling, so my favorite &#8220;desert&#8221; is Death Valley. It&#8217;s beautiful and deadly at the same time; not for the faint of heart (or the pasty tourist looking for cheap thrills). If I&#8217;m going by what the meme probably WANTED me to answer, which is what is my favorite &#8220;dessert&#8221; (remember folks, you always want seconds of dessert, hence the double &#8216;s&#8217;!), it would be the mouthwatering combo of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and a big ol&#8217; glass of milk to dip em in. Bonus points for me finding a hilarious pair of felt cookies, especially the one with the pissed off expression due to some asshole biting half his head off. I&#8217;d feel the same if it were done to me, pal.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">TV Host &#8211; Yes, I want to host TV. At some point, there&#8217;s going to be a void in that niche, and I&#8217;m gonna be the one to fill it. I hope Jimmy Fallon lasts just long enough for me to make my connections, and then I&#8217;ll move in after someone shanks him in the street for being so amazingly retarded. Conan, on the other hand, is tolerable and entertaining.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">My Boyfriend &#8211; He&#8217;s a weirdo, but he gets it. Enough said.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Wacky &#8211; I thought long and hard about this one. There&#8217;s so many one-word descriptions of me (some of them four-letter) that I pondered about and then discarded. What am I really? The one word to describe a person is a tough one. You don&#8217;t want to pigeonhole yourself, but you don&#8217;t want to be too broad, either. So I went with &#8220;wacky,&#8221; as it pertains to the events in my life, the people in my life, and myself in my life. It&#8217;s wide enough to cover my bases, but narrow enough to give people a good idea of what I&#8217;m about. Even the choice of that particular word shows a bit about who I am. Also, the strawberry cat head made me laugh pretty hard.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p style="margin-bottom:0;">Heartless Jezebel didn&#8217;t pull any answers on Flickr. Obviously, Flickr is in dire need of me. So I had to go outside of Flickr and Google it up. After shuddering at some of the chubby squad out there who thinks they&#8217;re a 10+ on the sexy scale, I saw it. An image that portrays my blog perfectly. A person being skewered from all angles, because they did something stupid (in this case, the man doll obviously got drunk and climbed onto a cutting block). That&#8217;s what this blog is all about. Skewering people with giant knives&#8230;I think.</p>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<div class="snap_preview">That&#8217;s it for the mosaic. Hopefully you&#8217;ve gained a bit of insight into my personality, as well as giggled a little bit.</div>
<div class="snap_preview"></div>
<div class="snap_preview">If you walk away from this entry with one thing, let it be this:</div>
<div class="snap_preview"></div>
<div class="snap_preview">Flickr is one weird fucking place.</div>
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			<media:title type="html">&#34;WTF&#34; doesn&#039;t even begin to describe this.</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Friend Threshold Values</title>
		<link>http://heartlessjezebel.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/friend-threshold-values/</link>
		<comments>http://heartlessjezebel.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/friend-threshold-values/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:58:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>heartlessjezebel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Observations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blithe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blunt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comedy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FTV]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heartless]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[idiots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[irrational hatred]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mean]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[snarky]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stabby]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[true]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://heartlessjezebel.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/friend-threshold-values/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have some pretty decent friends. Some of them have known me since I was in Kindergarten, some have only known me for a month, but they&#8217;re all pretty okay people. I wouldn&#8217;t hang out with them otherwise, right? However, each person I know has what I call a &#8220;Friend Threshold Value,&#8221; or FTV. I [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=heartlessjezebel.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4318370&amp;post=3&amp;subd=heartlessjezebel&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have some pretty decent friends. Some of them have known me since I was in Kindergarten, some have only known me for a month, but they&#8217;re all pretty okay people. I wouldn&#8217;t hang out with them otherwise, right?</p>
<p>However, each person I know has what I call a &#8220;Friend Threshold Value,&#8221; or FTV. I assign a number from one to infinity that represents the number of hours I can sanely sit with someone before I want to strangle them with their disemboweled innards.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s a few people I know that have unlimited FTV. The Genius, White, Tiki and my boyfriend are all people I can spend an infinite amount of time with. These people walk the line, ladies and gentleman. They are intelligent, funny, and most of all, they NEVER cross over into asshole land. And now that I&#8217;m looking at the list, my boyfriend really needs some kind of code name. Strokes. His name is now Strokes.</p>
<p>The aforementioned people have an uncanny knack for complimenting my personality. They&#8217;re decent people who happen to be excellent at not pissing me off, which is no small feat. But this blog doesn&#8217;t really apply to them. It&#8217;s the other people in my life that feel the need to irritate the living piss out of me after a certain time limit has passed.</p>
<p>In short, people have expirations.</p>
<p>Take my friend Mousecshwitz for example, who&#8217;s been nicknamed aptly due to her overzealous addiction to Disney movies. I like her; she&#8217;s a nice girl and I respect her for a lot of the things she&#8217;s accomplished and done in her life. Sure, she can be a bit overbearing at times, but I can easily handle it within her FTV. We have a few things in common, and she can be a lot of fun to hang out with&#8230;</p>
<p>Until the 5-hour mark hits. Then, listening to her invite herself to weekend trips and events that are happening make my blood boil. I&#8217;m sorry, but I don&#8217;t ever feel the need to ingratiate myself into trips my friends talk about. If they WANTED me to go, they would ASK. If I don&#8217;t ask you to go, that doesn&#8217;t mean, &#8220;Hey, you should totally invite yourself, because I&#8217;m being ditzy and you&#8217;re on the ball!&#8221; The subtext of my non-invite is actually, &#8220;Dear God in Heaven, please refrain from inviting yourself, because I&#8217;m fully aware that more than 5 hours with you will destroy sections of my soul I didn&#8217;t even know existed until they started screaming in agony. I haven&#8217;t completely forgotten that you&#8217;re a total douchebag and if I wanted to ask you somewhere, it would be to something quick and silent, like a movie. Or your execution.&#8221;</p>
<p>Seriously people, has it gotten to the point where etiquitte means absolutely nothing? It&#8217;s not a foreign country where they serve snails and frog&#8217;s legs. It&#8217;s not the name of Angelina&#8217;s newest Christ-Child. It&#8217;s extinct! Like dinosaurs. Chivalry. The freakin&#8217; Dodo.</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s go even further about Mousecshwitz. This chick reminds me every single time I see her or speak to her that she had &#8220;better be invited&#8221; to my wedding. Well, what the fuck?! Who in the hell are YOU, lady? Don&#8217;t horn in on one of the most important days of my life, okay? And if I give you an inch, you&#8217;ll steamroll me! Next thing I know, you&#8217;ll be delivering my fuckin&#8217; baby while Strokes weeps in the hospital waiting room. Why don&#8217;t you just demand that you actually BE my goddamn kid, so that I am required to haul your ass around everywhere I go (and, auspiciously for you, be legally required to never beat the shit out of you)?</p>
<p>In a nutshell&#8230;FTV. It&#8217;s worth assigning to everyone you know. Get to know your values and stick to them. Invite FTV-5 people to a movie (and potentially lunch). Watch a TV show with those really big douchebags you can only spend an hour with&#8230;you know who they are. And once that FTV level hits, get the fuck outta Dodge before someone ends up dead.</p>
<p>~j~</p>
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